“The only time you fail is when you fall down and stay down.”
― Stephen Richards
Your transformation starts today - book a call with me and live the life you want.
A BIT ABOUT ME...
Why must I say and do everything that other people want me to?
Why can't I just be me?
Won't people accept me for who and what I am?!
🔥 OMG this really used to wind me up - until I put a little work in and overcame my fears.🔥
The journey wasn't easy and there were tears and laughs along the way.
I am a loving mother to two children, two cats and have a long-suffering husband who tags along for the ride.
Hi!! I'm Vic and I NOW fearlessly live my life with ultimate freedom. ✌
If you want this freedom too, let’s chat now! https://tinyurl.com/vpc30m
As a child, I was subjected to this wonderful thing called "expectation". I was expected to be the best at everything, be a natural sportsperson, straight-A student, charming, loving and an all-around saint. Much to my parents disdain, I was a constant disappointment and an A grade sinner.
💔I was nearly disowned because of a B that I received in my GCSE's - oh boy were they going to love my A-Level results!!
💔I was shamed because I wanted to play football - only lesbians play football (according to my Dad)
💔I was constantly belittled when I dared to have a thought or opinion which differed from someone else - this one still comes up sometimes…
I was brought up to be an automaton, a THING that just DID things and wasn't allowed to think for themselves or share their feelings. I had a good stint at it and I crumpled by the time I was 30. My sense and sensibilities were so far out of alignment that my mental ship broke in two.
In 2011, I had the 'nerve' to split from my long term emotionally abusive partner (& university sweetheart) after we had just bought a house together, and my life spiralled out of control. It wasn't long before I went from "having it all" to "scraping the bottom of the barrel".
I was plagued with self-doubt, anxiety and depression. My self-talk (AKA the chatterbox) never said anything nice about me or my capabilities. It kept me within my comfort zone and I played small. I never took any risks. I never did anything exciting. Everything I did seemed to piss other people off so I retracted in on myself, never pushed any boundaries and fed on the scraps that my social network would give me… I even planned my suicide. I just couldn’t take it anymore.
Then I read 3 books that changed my life.
📕Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway (FTF)
📗Non-Violent Communication (NVC)
After I read FTF, I realised that I was allowing my chatterbox to keep me in my "Lower Self" and I had a choice to become my "Higher Self" (FTF terms) - I had the power to make this change to myself right NOW!
It was like my eyes had just been opened. I was filled with such energy and a thirst for making my life all it could be. I wanted to share this wonderful learning with others and became a Feel The Fear Trainer.
I went from a placid person who wouldn't say boo to a 👻 to a very assertive person almost overnight… and everyone around me felt whiplashed; they perceived me as aggressive. They were so used to seeing the small version of me that they had no idea what to do with this new and improved me… and they tried to push me back into the "old me" box.
I was so afraid of being a doormat that I pushed back, and probably a little harder than I meant to… and it resulted in my losing a friendship group and changing my employer.
It took several years for me to realise that the reason behind the whiplash that people felt was actually because of how I was speaking; The intention behind what I said and what I was actually feeling were two very different things and I needed to learn how to align the two.
Enter book #2 - NVC
This book should have been called "how to say exactly how you feel without coming across a bitch in the process" - it changed my life. Out of all of the negotiation books that I had read, and from of all of the sales courses that I had completed… this was by FAR the best book on interpersonal communication that has ever been written.
I had known for some time the quirks within my personality type and I do love a good process - so when I uncovered the Jackel Journal as part of my NVC studies I fell immediately in love with it. I fully embraced the reflective processes suggested in the book and was amazed at the successes I was now generating.
A common complaint amongst my peers what that I never lost an argument, and there was never any bad feeling. My boss sent me out to negotiate other peoples contracts for them - I was that good. I am currently working towards the international accreditation to become a NVC trainer.
I was still living small and staying within my comfort zone… I was single, had lots of money and no one to really enjoy my life with.
I read The Secret on a girls holiday and thought that I'd give this manifestation thing a go. When I was ready, I manifested my husband into my life in 30 days.
I WAS BLOWN AWAY. 🌬🌬🌬
Throughout my journey, I have felt fear from making a change, fear from others about a change that I was making, fears from facing the unknown and utter exhilaration at overcoming each and every fear.
From all my years in Sales, I know how to read body language and how to identify other peoples personality types... and not just to be able to flex my language into a different structure to communicate with them more easily.
My largest fear still remains of being misunderstood or not accepted - which is something that I work at daily. It's like a fitness routine for my mind!
My program Fearless Communication incorporates the best learning from Feel the Fear, Non-Violent Communication with a great deal of influence from my 15 years of sales training and I share the golden nuggets of how you too can face any fear with confidence, calm and clarity to receive the outcome you want.
Fearless Communication is a 12-week program that is all about tools, strategies and the knowledge of when to use them and why.
Whether you want to be able to have a difficult conversation at work with someone who you really don't want to speak to
Or maybe, telling a friend that they have crossed a line without breaking the friendship altogether
Or even talking with an ex-partner about how they both can remain active parents in their children's life without paying for mediation services.
If this is you and you want to hear more, let’s chat!
“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.”
― May Sarton