Throughout my career in corporate sales, I was fortunate enough to attend training seminars on negotiation, positioning and style-flexing. It's all fancy words to say I was taught the skills to recognise and adapt to other people's personalities and modalities so that I can become a better negotiator.

Or manipulator, depending on which side of the conversation you're on. 😉

There are some people with whom I still struggle to speak with. The difference now though is that I have a tried and tested set of tools, tactics and strategies to help me get out of whatever situation I am in.

I had never thought about using my sales training with my family until I decided to set firm boundaries with my own mother. When I realised how pain-free this was, I knew that sharing with everyone else would be valuable.

I've been helping people to say what they really mean, without being really mean since 2010.

As a child, I was subjected to this wonderful thing called "expectation". I was expected to be the best at everything, be a natural sportsperson, straight-A student, charming, loving and an all-around saint. Much to my parents disdain, I was a constant disappointment and an A grade sinner.

💔Why must I live my life to other people’s expectations?

I was brought up to be an automaton, a THING that just DID things and wasn't allowed to think for themselves or share their feelings. I had a good stint at it, and I crumpled by the time I was 30. My sense and sensibilities were so far out of alignment that my mental ship broke in two.

💔Why must I say and do everything that other people want me to?
💔Why can't I just be me?

In 2011, I had the 'nerve' to split from my long-term emotionally abusive partner (& university sweetheart) after we had just bought a house together, and my life spiralled out of control. It wasn't long before I went from "having it all" to "scraping the bottom of the barrel".

I'll just sit here and look at everyone else and want what they have… it'll never happen for me…

I was plagued with self-doubt, anxiety and depression. My self-talk (AKA the chatterbox) never said anything nice about me or my capabilities. It kept me within my comfort zone, and I played small. I never took any risks. I never did anything exciting. Everything I did seemed to piss other people off, so I retracted in on myself, never pushed any boundaries, and fed on the scraps that my social network would give me… I even planned my suicide. I just couldn’t take it anymore.

… I'm so unhappy.

Then I read 3 books that changed my life.

📕Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway (FTF)

📗Non-Violent Communication (NVC)

📙The Secret

It was like my eyes had just been opened. I was filled with such energy and a thirst for making my life all it could be. I wanted to share this wonderful learning with others and became a Feel The Fear Trainer.

Hi!! I'm Vic, and since finding my ambition, I fearlessly go for it and live my life with ultimate happiness and success. ✌

The journey wasn't easy, and there were tears and laughs along the way.

I am a loving mother to two children, two cats, and have a long-suffering husband who tags along for the ride.

If you want this freedom too, let’s chat now!